Some people are not going to like this statement. Negativity has been terribly judged, bullied, hated both within ourselves and outside ourselves. But negativity tells us what is wrong with something, what is wrong with whatever kind of experience we are having. Negativity gives us vital information about what needs correction.
I think the problem is where negativity has taken us in the past. We have all experienced rejection for being negative. We have been called party drag, the heavy, the one who brings others down. So many of us have learned to put on our presentation faces in order to avoid these judgements. We are already feeling bad and we don’t want someone judging us and making us feel worse about ourselves.
And then there is the downward spiral that negative feelings can take us into, so yes, anything to avoid these emotionally difficult places.
Negativity needs a whole new way of being looked at and dealt with. We really have had no models, until recently, to know how to deal with our negative feelings. The latest positive thinking religions has further judged negativity and totally polarized towards the positive. Balance is really what is really needed here. The balance between the dark and the light. The problem is that negative feelings have been so judged and hated for such a long time, they are in a pretty sorry state. So they need a lot of attention, love and understanding. And the only person who can really do this for yourself is you.
So if you want to give some TLC to your emotional body, you need some tools, and a whole bunch of patience and understanding towards yourself. If you didn’t get the kind of emotional nurturing you needed growing up, (and most of us didn’t), you are going to have to learn to give it to yourself. You are going to have to learn to re-parent yourself.
It’s not as hard as it may seem. And the better we get at nurturing the emotional side of our nature, the more our emotional nature gives back to us and helps us. The more love you cultivate towards yourself, and the more we love ourselves, the more we can love others. Self honesty is a key ingredient, and that is something that can take us to some very deep levels within ourselves.
We have been taught to present an acceptable image of ourselves by our parents and our teachers, and there are very strong expectations from society for us to fit into the homogenized reality that is being fed to us . Finding out who we really are behind the masks we wear, which are often in a unconscious state, is a big task. A good place to start is by acknowledging your true feelings. The first place you can do this is with yourself. Start to notice the difference between what you say and present, and what you really feel. You may notice quite a gap here. Maybe you don’t feel you can be honest because if you were then ??? Maybe you are afraid you would lose something; a job, or someone’s love and approval that is important to you. There is usually a reason we have developed this presentation side of ourselves, and it often comes with some level of feeling it is what we need to do to survive. So yes, our survival chakra is involved with our presentation selves.
It’s a big job, but there is nothing more exhausting and soul splitting than living out images that are not aligned with your true self. And sometimes we are in such a state of denial about our true selves, that our true feelings can be in a very compressed and twisted state.
There aren’t easy answers here. It took a long time for us to get into this state, and it’s going to take a while to unravel ourselves in a way that doesn’t put us into more of a state of reversal than we are. But begin we must. Or not.