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a Lola Christmas WishOh, The Great Exploration of the Self, the I AM. It is 4am and I AM not sleeping, which is too usual for me these days. ‘Tis the time when the veil between my Spirit and I is the thinnest, and I awake churning with thoughts, and often body discomforts as well.

Discover and exploring my new writing self is very stimulating, sometimes overly – like right now. So best stop fighting The Muse and engage with it.

This new technology medium, I feel, is a way for us to see more of ourselves, to explore ourselves. We are fascinated with our own reflection in the mirror. I feel it’s a stage of our growth as souls (well, what isn’t?). We only truly discover ourselves through the mirror of reflection. The reflections can sometimes be harsh, even deadly. We learn (I have learned) to tread softly, to be more cautious, to only expose those parts of myself that are ready to be exposed. To discover when I go past myself, put out too much, find my vulnerabilities, engage in battles. It’s a complex web, and it includes everything, The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly.

Sometimes when I am catching a quick nap on the couch, often sitting up, I find myself in that in-between state, where I am coming back from Dreamland, but am not quite back in my body. For a moment I am a vast field of consciousness, soon to be funneled down into my incarnated personality. It’s a fascinating place, a little scary where I am asking myself who I am and where I am.

The fear comes from not knowing if I am going to get stuck in this in-between place, but lately I’ve been feeling a little more comfortable with exploring this place, not rushing back, looking around a bit.

Because I house-sit, I wake up in different beds, often needing a few minutes to remember just where and who I am. That jostles up my sense of self. And I often meet the owners of the house in Dreamland. They are wondering what I am doing in their bed. Sometimes the meeting is sexual. On the astral, the artificial divisions of our waking consciousness are not there in the same way, and there is a much more honest meeting ground where truthful realities reveal themselves. That is why dreams are such a profound tool for self-exploration.

Anybody worrying about the now-here water crisis, not the ‘looming’ water crisis? Wells are drying up as we speak. Will there be a mass migration of people into Oregon? How is this going to affect the food chain? When do we hit the panic button? When do I move back to Canada?

It’s funny when you sit down to write. What often ends up coming out is much different than where you thought you were going. Ramble ramble. This is what I like about blogs. The space to be spontanious, and sometimes just silly. 🙂