Dogs, Dreams and Drama

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A whole bunch of things came together for me the other day that I would like to put down in story form and offer up for reading. Here goes…

I had a dream a few weeks ago that an energy field that was around me that was keeping me isolated from others was lifted. As soon as it lifted I felt this beautiful loving feeling between myself and others, but also fear. A few nights ago I had another dream where I wanted to go into this dark place where people were hanging out and setting up camp, but there was this crazy young man that came after me and wanted to chase me out. It seemed to me he was mentally ill and had been in this dark isolated place for a long time, and my presence was threatening to him. I was afraid of him, but also felt drawn to spend time in this place.

I knew upon waking that this was about some part of me, as I take all characters in my dream to be either a part of myself or reflecting something about myself. I put out my intention to heal with this aspect of myself. Later that day I went to walk a dog that I hadn’t walked before (I am a pet sitter for those that do not know). I had met this dog a few times, and it was friendly and seemed well adjusted, so I didn’t think walking the dog would be a problem. I took the dog out and it was very excited and was pulling on the leash immediately. I knew it was backed-up energetically and just figured it would calm down as we walked.

I wanted to walk in the park close by, and headed towards it. When it saw another dog, it was pulling very intensely to get to it. As I walked into the park there was a dog ahead on the path that it wanted to meet, and it was pulling super intensely to get to it. I pulled the dog off to the side to try to calm it down, but it just made things worse until I was having to use all my strength to control it. I was intent on controlling it and the man walking by with his dog was asking if he could help me, that he didn’t mind if the dogs were a aggressive and that he was willing to work things out with me.

At first I couldn’t hear him; I was involved with this intense struggle to control this dog. He was persistent though and I eventually heard what he was trying to say to me. We brought the dogs closer and there was a mix of frantic excitement and aggression, but also some calming as time went on. I was so relieved I started to cry. I hadn’t been feeling well that day, and the extra energy I put out trying to control the dog wore me out. The man offered to walk with us and work with my dog, and I was happy to have this help. The dog settled somewhat but still wanted intense interaction with the other dog, so it wasn’t a calm or peaceful walk, but it was manageable. He walked me back to the owners house and I put the dog into the backyard.

A friend also lives at this house who is emotions-friendly, so I went inside and told her what happened. I was still really triggered emotionally so I continued to let these feelings move. It was a lot and it was intense, but the feelings moved enough that I could get on with my day in a reasonable manner.

I knew that somehow this was a big deal for me, a big personal something that needed to move and evolve, but I didn’t have all the pieces of the puzzle together yet. The next day I had another pet sit to do which involved walking 2 sets of dogs; 2 little fluffy white dogs, and one big fluffy white dog. Through my processing I realized that I have not been allowing my socially needy dogs to have the outside interaction they need because of my fear of their aggression with other dogs. If there is another dog on the road, I often cross the road to avoid any interaction.

I feel this reflection is also symbolic of our interaction as a species. The aggression that lies on a subconscious level between all of us individually keeps us isolated from each other. As a species it seems we have all dealt with this by separating. Separate houses, separate lives, and territoriality has created a social neediness that has left our interpersonal needs unmet. Our dogs lives reflect this. We keep our animals boxed up in our houses, in kennels, or locked up in backyards all day, and we see this as ‘normal’. They are lonely, waiting for us dutifully to come home and interact with them. Our dogs are almost always on leashes because of fear of their aggression acting out. Then when our dogs get outside and come together there is sometimes conflict. As soon as dogs are put on leash or boxed up in yards they become territorial. Our dogs feel our own fear and act it out for us. If we are fearful our dogs reflect that.

This is not the true nature of dog, and probably not our true natures either. As most people know, dogs are pack animals and have high social needs. We have truly separated them from their natural state, as we have been as well.

After coming to these understandings in the past few days, I allowed the dogs I was walking to have more interaction with others. There was great pulling on leash’s and excitement to get together, some growling to declare space, but nothing horrendous that happened. It was a lot of my own unmoved fear the other day that created the ‘incident’, but it showed me something and I learned from it, and I am grateful for that. On top of that, I made a wonderful connection with the people on the other end of the leash. Win / win.

I believe that the dream of the aggressive male in the dark was about a part of myself that has been ostracized and living in darkness and isolation. It was time for me to make a daring shift. This feels like a true gift for me to resolve, and I feel I have released a part of myself from jail. That makes me feel VERY HAPPY

The Micro, the Macro, and My 4 Parts

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A few years ago I clear-cut a small garden bed I had thinking I would be ambitious enough to start a new environment there. I cut back all the indigenous plants, judging them as weeds.

Then I noticed a lone salamander wandering across the barren plane looking for his missing family. I had stepped on the hole in the ground where it’s den was and buried it’s family. I watched it come back again and again, wandering, looking for it’s family.

This was actually a very deep lesson for me to see what kind of effect my denied sensitivity had on this small creature who had made a home in the so called ‘weeds’ of my garden. I saw and experienced this as a huge metaphor.

Recently my interest in getting my hands back into the soil has been revitalized. I am in the middle of a big shift in my relationship to abundance and have begun to see and acknowledge the abundance in front of my very eyes which I have been blind to.

I am gardening differently now; slower, with more thought and using more of my intuition. If I feel indecisive or uncertain of my next move, I stop, take a rest and let myself sort out what I want to do next, waiting for my desire to rise to lead the way.

I had pots of plants on my too hot at times deck. None were doing very well. Suddenly, my partially shady yard looked like the perfect environment to nurture the mixed light and shade these plants seemed to need, especially with our increasingly hot weather. Suddenly, I realized I had a whole nursery of plants waiting for a new home. Suddenly I opened to the abundance around me that was waiting to be seen and acknowledged.

Today as I opened my patio umbrella I noticed a small tree frog. I gently cupped it in my hands and transplanted it to the little pool of water in my garden, where it drank heartily before hopping out and moving on. I think I am ready to forgive myself for not knowing better, for listening to my Spirit but not including my Will / intuition when clear cutting my garden. I feel I got a chance to karmically correct one of my mistakes, and a chance to see ‘the bigger picture’.

May my garden be a safe haven and a nurturing environment for plants and little beasties, and may I grow, learn, and evolve and be a better stewart for Mother Earth. Make it so!

Working with Riley

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My husband and I have a petsitting business, and we advertise that we take well-behaved dogs into our home.   Sometimes though, the dogs are not so well-behaved, but have good hearts.  In those cases, we work with their behavior issues.  Here is a blog I wrote on my Facebook Companion Care Petsitting website:

Riley has been a doggie challenge. She is 3 years old, and has lots of energy, and she has taken in mixed messages around what is ‘good’ behavior. She is confused and insecure, so she has been a bit of a puzzle and challenge to turn around. It has taken a little while to figure her out.

This is day 4 of her stay with us. Her behaviors have included jumping on the bed at night and not getting down, not wanting to sleep in her bed at night, and waking in the night and wanting attention. So we’ve had to confirm that her bed (in our house) is her sleeping place, and ignore her when she wants attention in the night and we don’t want to give it.

It’s important to give a dog correct messages. I think people have guilt around dogs that has them giving attention when they don’t really want to. This gives a dog mixed messages about what humans want and confuses them. Another thing is giving dogs attention when their behavior is bing bong. This affirms that bing bong behaviour is acceptable and gets attention. I try to give attention to a dog when it is in a calm state of mind. This confirms that a calm state gets attention and a bing bong state does not.

Another issue with Riley is she has a lot of energy and is not leash trained, so we are unable to walk her at this time to help her to release this energy. I have been throwing the ball in the b/y and she loves that. When she is tired, i put her on her leash and walk her around the outer driveway. I tried to use the training collar but she is not ready for that. I’ve figured out she just needs to do a lot of sniffing and get used to being on a leash in a small area. She is completely non linear on the leash, going hither and yon, completely distracted visually and by her nose so walking is a complete tug of war. Took me a while to figure this out. Cesar Milan makes it look so easy!

Another problem with Riley (yes, there are lots), is that she jumps up on people and thinks it’s all great fun. And she is very strong and heavy. Not good. So i use a dowling, and i put it between her and I and she gets the message very fast that jumping up is not ok.

She is a completely loving dog, but her owners have given her (in my opinion) too much attention for bad behavior, not enforced good behaviors, let her go absolutely snake in the house jumping on the furniture to get her energy out because they are older and haven’t established an exercise program, and too many treats to try to control her behavior which is rewarding her for bing bong.

Learning much with this pup!

Poverty

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Poverty has me by the short and curly’s.
Poverty has me awake in the night
legs aching
and praying for a miracle

Poverty has me cleaning up my act
exercising more
and looking at Craigslist contemplating a minimum wage job.

Poverty has me cleaning out my cupboards
eating less
and contemplating food stamps.

Poverty has my Heart breaking more easily
giving dollar bills to street people
and feeling compassion for those worse off.

Poverty has me dealing with my jealousy
of people taking trips to Hawaii.

Poverty has me facing my deathwish
that feeling of lying on the floor
and not getting up again.

Poverty has me making more art
more music
appreciating the library
using less gas
being more co-operative with my partner
and not taking so much for granted.

Poverty has it’s ups
and it’s down’s.

Music as a Healing Modality

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I am working my way through an interesting book called Sound Healing with the Five Elements by Daniel Perret. He has been working with the healing elements of music for many years.

In the book he talks about feeling the vibrational aspect of music in your body. All of life is based on vibration, and music vibrates the ethers at different frequencies. Different instruments vibrate different frequencies. For instance, drums vibrate our lower chakras, or the lower parts of our bodies, and flutes vibrate the upper frequencies.

We all have an electromagnetic aura, and music vibrates our aura. If we have a blockage in a part of our body, or an injury that is blocking the flow of energy in our body, it will show up in our aura. Listening to music of different frequencies helps to vibrate those blocked areas and get them physically moving.

I’ve been listening to a variety of different instrumental music for the past month, experiment with going into my body and really feeling the music. It has been an intensely interesting experience. Mostly I have been listening to New Age genre instrumental music. Peter Kater has been big on my list of music that I love. He plays intuitive piano, and is often accompanied by singular instruments, like flutes, oboe, cello or guitar. I have been allowing myself to experiment with how much pleasure I experience in my body in response to it.

What I have found here is guilt. Massive guilt that says ‘don’t go there’, and fear that if I open to pleasure the consequences will be dire. This makes total sense to me having been raised Catholic and punitively towards body pleasures. So I have been experimenting with feeling the pleasure, and how deep it goes, but also allowing myself to vibrate the terror. It’s important not to go past guilt without vibrating the terror, otherwise it is possible to manifest a reversal.

Mostly, I have been feeling an increasing sense of joy and well being. It is absolutely notable, and it has also been steady. I have noticed a great desire to get my daily fix. After I have been out working or engaged in the outer world, I love to come home, lie on the floor in a peaceful warm place, put on the music, and ‘go in’. Absolutely yummy.

I have also been listening to nature sounds. For the past several nights I have put on ocean, lake and flowing creek sounds. I have slept like a baby and felt energized and happy in the morning. I clued into the water as a auric cleanser when I came home feeling very grumpy and depressed, and laid down and listened to ocean sounds. Within a half hour I felt re-energized. It was quite a significant experience. That was when I started playing the ocean sounds at night.

There is a music website called Songza where you can easily tap into these recorded nature sounds.

The book talks about music healing the 5 elements of the body …. earth, water, fire, air and space, and that playing or listening to certain instruments can balance the elements in your body that may be missing or out of balance. I feel my water element is out of balance due to a variety of reasons, so I am hoping for some healing through listening to water sounds. I will let you know how that goes over time.

All in all, music is an inexpensive, easily accessible form to tap into, with no negative side effects, and may increase the happiness quotient in your life as it seems to be doing to mine, and hopefully, also help with your health issues. Sounds and feels like a win-win to me.

Who Would I Have Been?

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Who would I have been
if I have been cuddled instead of cursed
if I had been bounced instead of beaten
if I had been taught instead of teased
if I had been loved instead of laughed at
if I have been adored instead of alienated
if I had been kissed instead of kicked
if I had been venerated instead of victimized
if I had been stroked instead of spanked
if I had been honored instead of hated
if I had been pampered instead of pushed
if I had been understood instead of undermined
if I had been accepted instead of attacked
if I had been forgiven instead of forgotten
if I had been hugged instead of hit
if I had been revered instead of regretted
if I had been desired instead of dominated
if I had been nurtured instead of neglected
if I had been happy instead of hassled

who would I have been?

Sick Animals

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I am surrounded by sick animals these days. No, I don’t mean Republican Party kind of sick animals, I mean dogs that are definately not physically well.

I’ve been a petsitter for over 15 years, and you learn a few things along the way. I have been caring for a couple of Husky’s for the past few years, and one of them became very sick recently and has been diagnosed with IBD; Irritable Bowel Disease. IBD has been in my life for about 25 years. My Mother was diagnosed with Crohns Disease that long ago, and I watched her go through 3 major operations and life with an illeostomy, and all that involved. An illeostomy is a bowel bag that is attached to the upper intestinal tract. An colostomy is a bowel bag attached to the lower intestinal tract. Too much information already?

So this sweet female Husky has IBD and is being put through with Veterinary System Ringer as she is treated with heavy drugs, feeding tubes, biopsies and yada yada yada. She is so skinny now she looks like a coyote.

So why do some dogs get IBD when others who are eating the same diet do not? Some dogs’ constitutions are not as vigorous, so their gut may be more susceptible.  The main culprit, in my opinion, is conventional or GMO grain based kibble diets.  Grain based diets are very hard on the digestive tract for dogs.  All grains have an enzyme coating on them that makes them difficult to digest.  In order for grains to become digestible, they must be presoaked in an acidic solution;  think Sourdough Bread.  This breaks down the enzyme coating that makes seeds and grains unattractive to those species that might like to eat them.

On top of that grains that have been genetically modified (GMO), have actually been formulated to destroy the gut (YES!), and it doesn’t take that long for an animal to start having digestive difficulties.  Add to that that animals are usually on repetitive diets so their bodies develop an allergic reaction to eating the same food for long periods of time.  All of this leads to inflammation of the gut.

And there are always other factors as well, such as environmental stress, and dogs that are over-bred such as Golden Retrievers, who manifest a whole host of problems from their overbreeding.  These dogs tend to have skin allergies and sensitivities their entire lives.

So if you are feeding your animals diets that are grain based, with conventional or GMO food bases, you could be in for problems in the future.  Or, you may be one of the lucky owners with animals that sail through these problems with no difficulties.  The thing is, if the animals do start to develop gastral-intestinal problems, it could be very costly for you in the long term if you choose to try to correct the problems.   Just sayin’ it might be worth your time to talk with someone at a holistic petfood store that is in the know, or do your own research.  Our pets deserve our forward thinking educated loving care.

Verizon Wireless: Liars and Thieves

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I’ve just been majorly screwed over by Verizon Wireless. It’s been playing out over the last 2 months but here is the scenario. Around May 2nd I signed up for cellular service.  I am a hold-out, one of those who went as long as possible before I gave in to getting a cell phone.  I gave up my landline and decided to go cellular for business purposes and to save money:  har!

I was very specific when signing up because I needed unlimited talk and text to Canada. My Mother was up there, and family, and she was very sick. I knew I would need to be traveling soon.

I was told that the plan I signed up for was the international plan, unlimited talk and text. What I wasn’t told was that for a period of 90 days I wouldn’t be able to call or text internationally. I guess this is common practice with communications companies for new signee’s, or so I am told. When I finished the conversation with the person who was signing me up, I was reassured that I could travel to Canada and be covered.

Verizon sent me a contract via mail within the first 2 weeks. unlimited talk and text it said. I did not read the fine print or pages of text. I assumed the person who signed me up was truthful. Stupid me. It turns out (which I found out yesterday, 2 months later) that the contract only covered the US, and that I would not be eligible for international coverage for 3 months. So when I went up to Canada I racked up bills for over $800. I tried to straighten it out from there, but I needed to send information to PROVE that I was who I was, but I couldn’t do that till I returned. Then, when the information was incomplete, they did not get back to me about it (it is NOT their responsibility to communicate back with you). It is a one-way street.  So my bill continued to rack up. You see, I still did not know that I was not covered for international calls and texts to Canada, So yesterday I was informed that my bill was now over $1100, and of course, that they wanted immediate payment.

I was on the phone for 3 hours yesterday, talking with one person, then another, then another. They kept giving me roadblocks, and I kept asking to speak with someone further up the chain. Eventually, I got someone who graciously (sic) gave me $750 off my bill. That still leaves me with a $400 bill, when the problem goes back to the very beginning; that I was purposely deceived by the person who signed me up by giving me incorrect information. Do you think I would have signed up with Verizon, and gone to Canada and racked up over $800 worth of bills if I had known I was not covered? Do you think I would have continued to call and text Canada afterwards if I had known I was not covered. No. I would have either chosen a different plan, or I would have looked around for another carrier.

So now I have supposedly gone as far as I can go with the system AS IT IS. The next step is correspondence through the mail. I have no idea how this is going to go, but I can tell you that I had PTSD after the stress of the run-around I got yesterday by the Verizon System. I also took a look on-line at other complaints around Verizon and got very depressed with what I read. These complaints are VERY COMMON, and Verizon’s history of deceiving it’s customers is a very long and sordid one. AND I hear that the other Communications companies are not dissimilar in their policies.

I would like to take Maxwell’s Silver Hammer and SMASH these communications companies to bits.

The Post Office’s Deceptive Marketing Practises

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The other day I mailed a letter to Canada. It cost me $2.70. The clerk tried to up-sell me. He told me that it would take 2 to 3 weeks for the letter to get there, but for $48, the next price break, I could have it delivered in 3 to 5 working days.

I ended up sending it slow boat, and the letter arrived within 4 business days. This feels to me like such an intrusion of corporate lies right down to the grassroots level, and it infuriates me. I feel betrayed by our most most basic institution, and the local clerk, who is like the common man we are imprinted to trust, is forced to play out these lies to us.

More yuck in the world!

The Folks are in The Home

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The Folks are in The Home
It’s best they’re not alone
Card games to fill the daze
Its loads of fun they say

The Folks are in The Home
Sure the hours drone
TV’s great company
And gossip, hey it’s free

The Folks are in The Home
This we do condone
And if they get depressed
The pills will help with stress

The Folks are in The Home
We talk with them by phone
On Sundays we drop by
At least we sometimes try

The Folks are in The Home
We drive them all around
Cause this is love we say
The Doctors fill their days

The Folks are in The Home
Their room is just on loan
But only if you have the Bucks
If not well gee that really sucks

The Folks are in The Home
Ill health they are so prone
Care-aids are the front-lines
To deal with their Behinds

The Folks are in The Home
Soon they will be gone
There’s nothing quite so hard
As cutting the umbilical chord